This post was written a day after my sister left but publish one month later. When the sadness have subside.
My sister left for Scotland yesterday.
She will be starting a new lift there with her husband, leaving behind the the life she once had over here.
When she came back in early July, we already knew she was gonna leave. Her coming back was always gonna be something temporary until she gets all the paperwork done.
Yet when it came time to it, I still find it shocking and sad and wishing that I have more time with her.
Sadness laced with regrets.
Happy for her yet sad that from now on, I lost my best friend, again.
When she came over on Wednesday evening to happily announced she have already received her visa and that she will be flying off on Friday night at 9 pm, I was surprised that it was so quick. I quickly suggested to have steamboat and grill for the very last time before she leaves. Happily I went to Jusco that evening to shop for ingredients for our party.
The next day on Thursday, September 16th, I woke up early to go to SA Mall to get the salmon and cods. I even waited close to one hour for the mall to be opened due to the recently changed operating hours. But just when it was time for me to go and shop, my sister called to tell me that our dad will be buying all of us a good dinner as her farewell so that the party I planned had to be called off.
Truth be told, I was sad and disappointed.
Then while working at around 8 plus at night, the fact that my sister really is leaving for good this time, sank in.
And I suddenly cried.
I was upset that I am losing my sister and my best friend.
There is no one who would listen to me talk about my problems, listen to me talk over and over about US politics and really just about anything under the sun.
I realized these past 2 and a half months she was back, I was happier.
But that happiness was short-lived.
There is still so many things I want to do with my sister.
My second dose of vaccination was due just in less than a few days and I had so many things I wanted to do with her.
I wanted to bring her to KL and do some shopping.
I wanted to bring her to try the 100% Arabica coffee in Pavilion.
I wanted to take her to a nice restaurant and treat her to a good meal.
I wanted to do a movie marathon with her every weekend.
I wanted to cook her a nice western breakfast in the morning.
I wanted to take her for facial together as we gossip just like how they do it in the movies.
I wanted to cook her the porridge steamboat and grill together with her and have a blast of a meal as we watch Netflix.
I wanted to take her and checked into a hotel room where we can rest, relax and do those bonding activities that sisters does.
But all those will not happen anymore cause she was leaving the next day.
I felt so so sad and cried as I texted my friend about being down in the dumpster, telling her that I am going to miss my own sister very much.
Kept telling myself that this night would be her last night as her flight tomorrow would be at 9 pm.
Then came the dreaded final day.
She came over at around 2 pm to get her bath. After her bath, I gave her the sweets and an angpao packet, to which she burst out crying, saying that she could not accept it. Seeing her cry, I could not hold back my tears and finally cried too, telling her that I finally understood how Ah Hem and Aunty Ruby felt when they have to send away their daughters because sending my sister away hurts just as much.
We cried and hugged and cried and hugged over and over again.
I never hugged my sister so much in such a short span of time – four in total.
I felt at least I am not alone in the sadness that I felt in her leaving, though I had wanted to put on a strong front and cry silently behind closed doors – which I am still doing the day after she left.
I miss you, sister.
footprints on the white snow Blog 